So....Umm.....Turns Out We Forgot the User Name and Password for the Site.....So....And Hammer Take 2 SHPL MVP's

Dang,  so much has happened in the past two seasons:  where should we start?

Dateline: 2014
Well...your Fairies have won two more Intergalactic Street Hockey Pro-League Championships!  The 2014 season played out pretty much as one might expect:  "Hammer" laying down the Big Stick to slug out win after win, taking the very green and very white "Steamer" along for the ride.  Once the dust settled, your Fairies managed to capture their second SHPL Championship on June 8th.

"It was a brilliant season for our team.  You know... I just brought the heat.  Taking 'Steamer' under my wing and watching him accept the first of his two 'Rookie of the Year' titles was just scrumptious."  -Hammer 

"Watching 'Big Oak' not take the SHPL championship paddle home was worth all of the hard-core steroids and late-night, all-dude showers I took."  -Steamer 

Dateline: 2015
The year started out rough for the Fairies.  Losing four of the first five games, the Fairies had a hard time recapturing the magic of their dominant 2014 season.  Team owner "Sterling" mixed up the roster during the annual "Sausage Fest" double-header by signing Chilean houseboy "FUBU" to a rookie max, 12-oz contract.  After taking a week to not practice, the Fairies came back and evened the season by week nine.

"Not only can 'FUBU' play some fast-paced street hockey, but that Taco Jockey can landscape a yard." - Sterling

Finishing the season winning three of the last four games, the Fairies took the 2015 SHPL championship by virtue of the league Flag Day rule:

"Shit." -Big Oak

Gardeners power forward, "Chaz," finished the season with a staggering 21,000 penalty minutes. The Gardeners franchise was mired in the dubious transformation of "Chaz's" phsyic through the season.  According to team records, the 6 -oot Chaz started the season weighing in at 145 pounds with a normal sized scrotum.   By season close, the muscled-up and rage-fulled "Chaz" had a number of run-ins with the Winston-Salem police department.  Culminating with an all-night fender-bender bender.  Rumors abound of Chaz having hit as many as 7 parked cars within 1 mile of the Gardeners' headquarters.

"I really miss having testicles.  On the bright-side - it makes my penis look bigger." -Chaz

Future hall of famer "Hammer" finished both the 2014 and 2015 campaigns taking SHPL top honors.

"That son of a bitch can play some f-ing street hockey.  He just has an amazing ability to adapt to any hockey situation.  He is a winner.   Bravo 'Hammer!' "   -Republican Presidential Hopeful Donald Trump

Dateline: 2016
The off-season started with one of pro-sports' biggest blockbuster trades:  GM "Hammer" dealt "Steamer" to the Gardeners for an unheard-of sum of malted ounces.  The deal, that runs for two years, guarantees a "40 ounce High Life" for all away games and 72 ounces for all home games.  "Big Oak" loosened his notoriously tight purse strings to try and gain an edge on the mighty Fairies.  

"With 'Chaz' in Charlotte undergoing therapy for his gender reassignment surgery, I knew I had the capital and cap space to make a monumental move on my roster.  Having the opportunity to bring in 'Steamer' to mentor rookie 'Big Rob' is  really going to bring a lot of hope to the 'Tampax Flow Dome' this year.  Of course, this is until we have our inevitable mid-season collapse."  -Big Oak

"Sterling" continues to hone her keen eye for young talent.  Scouting in French Canada, "Sterling" signs Iowan expatriate "Darkness" to a 2-game provisional contract with an option for a two-year, 12 ounce deal.  In a twist that can only happen in the SHPL, the Gardeners use Fairies' rookie "Darkness"  to help them the win in the season opener.  Fortunately for the Fairies, they close the 2 year deal with "Darkness" and are able to take two from the Gardeners in the annual "Sausage Fest" double header.

The season series is currently 2-1 in the Fairies' favor.

Fairies Eye Repeat in 2014

Coming off an incredible 2013 season in which the Fairies were able to roll off 8 consecutive victories to capture the 2013 Intergalactic SPHL Title, hopes are high in West Winston for another strong Season.  Team captain "Hammer" has been hitting the plates hard in the off-season and has managed to pack on almost 30 pounds of pure, puck-mashing muscle on his Adonis-like frame.

"As you know, being named league MVP two years in a row means the world to me.  Of course, I couldn't have done it without the troops.  Coming off a slow start last year I really tried my best not to push too much.  It took a while to develop some chemistry with my new line mate, the "Commander".  I think the turning point in my latest MVP campaign came during the second exhibition match for the troops when I was able to throw that unbelievable, no-look pass between the legs to "Oak" for the first score of the game.  It was at that moment, I knew......"  -Hammer

As this season begins, the Fairies will lean once again on new blood.  This time, Fairies owner, "Sterling," has found what she believes to be a great compliment to not just scoring Colossus "Hammer," but last year's Rookie of the Year, "Commander".  Discovered on her spirit quest to the Himalayas, Fairies new D-man and Forward, "Steamer," will look to follow in the "Commander's" footsteps as the next West Winston every-mans hero!

"Look, I was looking for the largest white guy I could find.  There was no reading test for this."  -Sterling

Speaking with rookie, "Steamer," he is very excited to be joining a winning tradition right out of college.

"Being from the intellectual hotbed of Cleveland Ohio, I think that I can really bring a thinking man's perspective to the Fairies.  Also, I truly understand that a lake can catch on fire."  -"Steamer"

Rick "Big Oak" Eaton to Add Bed Extension

Gardeners forward and team owner "Big Oak" has made a move to add 9 inches to the total width of his bed.  It has been rumored that "Oak" was looking to make a big move this offseason with most of the league speculating that "Oak" was going "all the way" this year  - in bed.

"I am really excited for the bed expansion to be finished up.  At this point I can get two, maybe three dudes in my bed - max.  Once completed, I am hoping to get at least five dudes or four dudes and two small farm animals into my bed!  I am totally going to capitalize on my new bed-to-dude ratio."  - Big Oak

Well Oak, we wish you luck this offseason.

Fairies Take Win Streak to 3 on Sunday

In a bittersweet victory over the Gardeners - the Fairies push their league leading record to five and two.  Leading 4-2 in the second period, Gardeners captain "Big Oak" was forced out of the game with a crushing injury to his right calf.  The injury was sustained while "Oak" was bounding for a loose puck in the Fairies Zone.

"After a thorough examination, "Oak" has a minor tear in his right calf muscle.  I expect him to be out for about three to four weeks.  After speaking with him, I am confident that we will be able to put together a balanced rehabilitation program for "Oak," said Gardeners Team Physician, Dr. James Andrews.

Once action resumed, the Fairies were able to physically dominate the clearly-demoralized Gardener team, 10-6.

"I played like a bitch," was the summation from "Little Oak."

Team Notes**

**Fairies team owner "Sterling"has publicly stated that she wants her team to take the coming All-Star week off, and has offered a team bonus to all Fairy All-Stars who sit out the annual scrimmage.  

** The Fairies will next take the street on Sunday, March 17th at the Lager Palace, for the annual battle of the Leprechaun Hat.

**Breaking News** 2/26/13 9:21 PM

Fairies owner "Sterling" announces blockbuster trade of Seldom used defensemen Chuck "Rocket" Davidson to the Gardeners.  Terms of the deal have yet to be officially released but sources close to both parties have confirmed that the Gardeners will give the use for three seasons of both their goal and boards for Fairy home games along with two beers of the Gardeners choice.

"I really thought I was going to have to offer three beers along with the use of the goal and boards.  In fact, that's what I opened with.  Fairies GM "Hammer" was insistent.  Two beers: thats all it going to take...two beers." - Gardeners owner and GM, "Big Oak"

 

Fairies Win @ Home

Fairies claim the first home victory of any team this season !  With a strong 10-5 effort the Fairies take their record to 4-2.  The first win at the Lager Palace was marked by great celebration by the Fairy faithful.  Commander really stepped his game to the next level - five goals and five assists.

"Treating the home fans to a dominating win is what we set out to do today.  I am looking forward to bringing the same energy to the Garden next week.  Who knows...I might even cap this win with a trip to Mike's new shower." Game MVP Commander

Deep into the second period "Sterling" made her season return.  She logged ten minutes of street time and managed four big hits and seven minutes of penalty time.

The Fairies travel to the Garden to take on the Gardeners this Sunday for a late game tilt.  Look for hard-core street hockey action to start around 4:00ish or 3.  

Fairies Crush Gardeners 10-3

The Fairies claim sole possession of first place in the SHPL with a 10-3 dismantling of the Gardeners.  This game marked the return of Gardener defensive juggernaut "Baby Shaq" who had been serving a three game suspension for performance enhancing drugs.

"Hammer" started the scoring action with two goals within the first minute of play.  Gardener captain "Big Oak" fed "Baby Shaq" three minutes later to draw within one goal - but alas, the Fairies were too much.

Fairies Owner "Sterling"on todays game.

"It's games like this that really separate the playoff teams from those who will be doing laundry come May."

After the game - the players mixed it up for an exhibition game to commemorate 9/11 and show appreciation for the troops.

North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory commented on the exhibition match -

"It was magnificent to see the games best players take the street for the troops.  Seeing "Hammer" pass between his own legs to set-up "Big Oak" for a blazing one-timer!  Kick-Ass Awesome!"

The Fairies will take the street again Sunday February 24th Sometime between noon and four to try and get their first win at the Lager Palace.

Fairies Fall to Big Oak and his Cronies...

Fairies take a tough loss to the Gardeners, 10-9.

"I am pretty sure "Oak" is on the juice.  The way his shins were bleeding purple and green blood.  That is just crazy!"  (unnamed fan)

""Oak" was an animal out there - I totaly wish that the "Hammer" would have checked him to ground." (Winston-Salem Mayor Allen Joines)

For the second time this season the "Lager Palace" was sold out!

The Fairies travel to the Garden to take on the Gardeners this Sunday @ around 1:00ish.

*Fairy Dust* Team News and Notes

*  Team owner "Sterling" has been busy getting the Lager Palace ready for this Sundays tilt against the Gardeners.  This week, ALL FANS will receive complimentary beverages and one level upgrades on seating!  Be sure to act fast BOX and CLUB BOX are going fast!


*  Fairy rookie forward "Commander" has taken his game to the next level.

"Yeah...I decided to get my own stick for this weeks game.  Last week I decided to forgo my usual jeans and put on an old pair of sweats.  This week, I am going to have my own stick."  

Sounds good to us "Commander" -


* Team captain gets new "Hammer" -

Well, until next week this has been Vic Reynolds with "Fairy Dust" for the week.

Sterling and D.G. Yuengling Strike 20 Year Deal!

On Tuesday, Fairies owner Karen "Sterling" Craven and Yuengling Chairman D.G. Yuengling work a deal to continue naming rights for the Fairies' home street to be named the "Yuengling Lager Palace."  The $13.98 deal is reported to be a 20-year contract!

Fairies Triumph Over Gardeners 9-5

Hammer rolls Big Oak and his gang for 7 goals and 2 assists as the Fairies move to 2-1-0 in the seasons. Sterling took the game off to watch from the recently renovated Garden.

Commander once again brings his "A" game as he continues his breakout rookie season!

Hardcore street hockey action returns to the Lager Palace where the Fairies look to avenge their close home opening loss to the Gardeners.

The slit tennis ball drops sometime around 1:30ish on Sunday!

Opening Day of the 2013 Season!

Sterling and the Hammer hit the streets to earn street hockey glory!